Tingly Feelings

Marriage was not a journey I ever saw myself embarking on as I was growing up. Honestly, it was not something I even thought of or considered till I was almost 25 years old. The state of marriages around me and having parents who encouraged me to focus on my education left me focused on everything else but marriage. 

Looking back, I believe that if prayer had not been a part of my equation, I probably would not have said yes to my husband. Not only because I was not interested in marriage, but also he did not fit into the mold of guys I had dated in the past or meet the things on my unrealistic "list." As I sit here reflecting on our marriage and go over my prayer list from years ago, I realize my husband is all the things I prayed for years ago. A blessing I would have missed because the packaging was not what I expected.

Family and friends would tell me how amazing he was and how blessed I was to have him. Don't get me wrong, I knew I had a "good man," but the tingly feeling was missing. For years I believed that love comes with tingly feelings. You know the feeling I am talking about, that prickling or stinging sensation that runs through your body at the mere thought of the person. The kind that leaves you with butterflies in your stomach and hanging from your bed as you talk for hours and hours. I believed that because there was no tingle, then there was no love. But boy, was I wrong! 

Through it, all my fiancé –now husband– loved me unconditionally. He put into action 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Each day through his actions, I learned to trust again and hope again. It was not an easy journey, but one that allowed me to learn so much about what love truly means and looks like. I love my husband. Plain and simple. There is no tingly feeling when I look at him, but the admiration and respect I have for him outweighs the "tingly" feelings. 

July 19th, 2015, will mark a year since my husband and I stood at the altar and exchanged vows. A year of working hard to uphold the vows we took on that day to, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, and in sickness and in health choose each other daily. I am blessed to have such a perfectly/imperfect husband. Like many, I had read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 without truly understanding what the verse meant. I would explain it to others, but all I was doing was paying lip service to the scripture. It was not until that one fight that I began to understand and live out what the verse means. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 has taught me what love truly is. Not that fairy tale love that many of us have come to uphold without realizing how damaging it is to our outlook on marriage.  

So I leave you with the correct definition of love:

Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8